A Contradiction
by Secrets2you
Summary: Strigoi don't fear. They don't eat, they only drink blood. They don't feel guilty. They don't feel sadness. They, especially, don't feel love. So what was it that he felt as he fell into the waters, staked by the woman he had loved? [One shot]


So I've updated the format. Thanks for the feedback! Hahaha didn't know what happened there. Guess this is what happens when you're too nervous to check back on your work.

-X-

Fear.

It couldn't be fear. He didn't fear. Strigoi don't fear.

If he was the old him, a mere Dhampir, it would have been possible. But he wasn't. He was stronger than that, better than that. He had evolved. His past self was a fool. They were all fools. _This_ was so much better.

They had praised his strength then. If only they could see his strength _now._ His senses had heightened to a whole new level. He could see one speckle of blood drop from miles away. He could smell the blood from even further away. But physical abilities weren't all.

Even back then he had been strong. Not as strong as he was now, but strong enough to kill a large number of Strigoi—superior species like he was now. Yet, he didn't know. He wasn't aware of his strengths. Sure, people have told him that he was strong. _She_ had told him that he was strong. But he hadn't see it then.

That was how _weak_ he had been.

So weak he couldn't see his strength. But he could now. And he had no doubt that in a few years, maybe months, he would be all-powerful. He would be God.

Look at what he had achieved in just a few months. He had infiltrated into one of the largest Strigoi organizations with a mere call to their leader. Then he had overthrown her. Just a few minutes ago, actually. He was the leader now.

And yes, he had enlisted some help for that. But that was what made him powerful.

He could see strengths. He could see her strength. They couldn't.

Even though her power had radiated from her so brightly. She was strong. So strong.

And so beautiful.

With her by his side, he could be stronger than even God. Why couldn't she see that? They could be together for an eternity. They could rule the world together.

Which was why he wouldn't kill her.

No matter how many times she hit him, betrayed him, ran away from him. He could turn a blind eye to that. Because he was smarter and stronger. He wouldn't kill her.

 _Wouldn't or couldn't?_

It was that _thing_ again. That voice that whispered to him. It had been there since he had evolved. It was always saying weak, stupid things.

 _Don't._

 _Don't kill them._

 _It's wrong._

 _I don't want to them._

Weak. Which was why he crushed it. It had tried to put up a fight but he was so strong. He pushed it away but knew that it hadn't disappeared. It was deep down somewhere. Lost somewhere. Occasionally there would be a soft hum but it never spoke such frivolous nonsense again. It was too weak, too soft.

 _You can't kill her. I won't let you._

Apparently, it had grown louder again. That didn't matter. Once this was over, it would disappear forever. He was sure of it.

It was only there because of her. Because she wasn't his yet. Once he had gotten her, once they were together, that voice—that noise—will fade to nothing.

He had been so close. He was sure she would be his by tomorrow. But she had surprised him, yet again. He could still remember the searing of his skin as she had plunged that chair leg into him. Like a stake, it had pierced his heart.

Of course, that wouldn't kill him. He was strong.

She had escaped from him, but he found her. He would always find her.

He had told her just that—that he would always find her—as he chased her through the maze. She had not replied. She had simply ran. She ran into the darkness, using her smaller height as an advantage against the tall grass. She was strong—not just physically.

But her strength wasn't complete, not yet. It would be soon, once she evolved. Once she was relieved of all the useless things that had been holding her back. Her inability to realize that she could be so much more, her reluctance to crush those against her, and her fears.

Fear.

Strigoi don't fear.

Yet, here he was. His hands tightly clenched to his side. His breath was unsteady and erratic. Like the pounding of his heart as it clenched and sank and…

Ached.

His heart was hurting, he realized. Perhaps the wound from the stake hadn't healed completely yet. He was sure he had felt it close up but that wasn't important right now.

"I told you. I'll die before I become Strigoi. I won't be like you or the others. I don't want that. You didn't want that, once upon a time."

He felt his eyes widen in shock as she swung her leg over the railing of the bridge, the hungry water gushing below. No, it wasn't shock. He knew that she would choose to die. If she could just _see_ that becoming a Strigoi was good for her!

"Rose, don't," he said, finding his voice. It wasn't shock. It was…fear.

She tilted her head slightly to peer at the water below her, a small, sad yet slightly smug smile brushed her lips. She had him. He wouldn't—couldn't—kill her.

"Please," the pain in his heart worsened, "we need to be together."

"Why?" She had whispered it but he heard her anyway. It wasn't, he knew, just because of his heightened hearing either.

Why indeed? It was her. She was his. They would rule together.

He knew it was the wrong answer even as he said it. It felt wrong.

"Because I want you."

It was wrong. He was wrong.

She smiled and threw herself back.

 _No! Stop her!_

He was there, dragging her back, at a speed that was too fast even for a Strigoi. He didn't care about strength now.

"Stop fighting me!" He hissed, frustrated. At her, at his fear, at the voice. He would have stopped her even if it wasn't for the voice. It wasn't because of the voice.

The voice was getting louder.

 _Don't hurt her._

"Let me go!" she yelled as he dragged her back over the railing, away from her death. He couldn't let her die. He had to save her. He had to protect her. She couldn't die, not her. Anyone but her.

He should have incapacitated her then, before evolving her. But the thought of hurting her had ceased to cross his mind. He looked her in the eyes, her beautiful eyes.

There were only three words that crossed his mind. Three words that were impossible for him to say. If he hadn't 'evolved', he could have said them. He wished he could have said them.

"I will always love you." She told him as she plunged a stake into his heart again.

He gasped at the searing heat of the stake, silver metal—not wood—this time. He trashed, the pain was intense. He felt his whole body burning up. He let out another gasp. A gasp that sounded like a mix between a gasp, a hiss and a whimper. The ugly sound escaped his lips without him even noticing. His balance was off. His strength was gone.

His vision was blurring but he could still see her. So beautiful. It was _pure_ beauty.

The three words were at the tip of his tongue. That four letter word. So close yet so far. He managed, however, to force out seven other words.

"That's what I was supposed to say…"Then, he fell.

He fell over the railing of the bridge. He fell down towards the waters. He fell into darkness.

 _I love you too. I have always loved you._

"I will always love you."

And the enchanted silver stake that was used to kill Strigoi, stopped burning in the heart of Dimitri Belikov as he plunged into the water.


End file.
